That's How the Light Gets In

   It's a symptom of spiritual pride to think we should come before God as anything other than what we are -- at best recovering sinners in need of help and healing.  No doubt every believer would like to appear one's best before God, but when this desire is driven by either pride or fear, it manifests itself in attempts at self-justification through one's virtues and works. Oftentimes, the people who need God most put off turning to him because they would like to present their lives to God as an unblemished offering. Like the pharisee in the parable, most of us would like to come across to God as being strong, self-made persons with a list of accomplishments under our belts, the kind of people who have it all together, as if God were a corporate headhunter to be impressed by glowing résumés. Such a stance however denies the truth of who we are and keeps God from doing his work--which has to do with turning our lives inside out and remaking us in the likeness of his Son. The reason why God can't resist "a broken and humbled heart" is because that's usually the only kind that will have him on his terms. God often has far more use for our frailties and failures than he does for our accomplishments. It's the acceptance of how often we engage in self-sabotage that leads us to the kind of surrender that God needs in order to be God in our lives.

   Apropos to the point above, poet-songwriter Leonard Cohen (thanks Francis for introducing me to his poems) offers these  words from his song "Anthem":

        Ring the bells that still can ring
        Forget your perfect offering                                    

        There is a crack in everything
        That's how the light gets in. . .

   It's the cracks in our lives that provide the space for God's grace to seep in.  12-step groups know this. The first step in personal transformation has to do with acknowledging  that one is powerless over some aspect of his or her life and surrendering oneself to a higher power. Sin is a kind of addiction and like many addicts, each of us is often in denial of the extent to which our lives need to change in order for us to be happy. Even when we do want to get better, we kid ourselves into thinking we are strong enough to do it without help, on our own terms.
   We are all recovering sinners. And that's perfectly alright with God. In fact, God wouldn't have it any other way. (He doesn't have very much by way of taste or standards when it comes to making friends.) But real change only happens when we acknowledge the truth about how seriously messed up we are and we tell God, "Hey look. I can't take this anymore. Here I am. Do with me what you want. In your will is my peace."
     Ring the bells that still can ring
     Forget your perfect offering                                    
     There is a crack in everything
     That's how the light gets in. . .